You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize