Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
