are you still at the devil's house?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We don't watch enough power rangers
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better