I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon