We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
