is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
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