if i can run in heels then i can drive
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
