no, he came in my armpit
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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