Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
