it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
