So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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