He kissed a someone with a penis
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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