i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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