Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
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i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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