Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
