there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
