And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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