She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
