why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
