That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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