HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
