she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
