i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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