how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
