This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize