So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
