can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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