and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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