Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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