Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
