and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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