well you can't waste a boner
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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