you turned your livingroom into a bong?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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