Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Randomize
