Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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