Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
