about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
