i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
