why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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