the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
