I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
