Sober January is a disaster.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
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Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
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you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize