I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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