he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize