it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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