I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
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Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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