yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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