I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
