So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
