Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
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I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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