Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
