the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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