i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
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I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
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Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...