Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She's the barista slut.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?