I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.