I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.