Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You can't die you're my only democrat family member