Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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