I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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