I'm so fucking centered right now
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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