Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
