This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
