I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize