everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize